Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
