He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
