But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
