Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize