theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
