Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize