I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
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