Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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