so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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