I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
