ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He? As in you personified your dick?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize