So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
