is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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