So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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