If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
