i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
