My liver just broke up with me...
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
third nipple confirmed
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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