i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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