I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
