so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
