I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
