You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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