Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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