You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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