My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
