just come out here and I will go home with you...
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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