some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
