he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
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