how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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