it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
