if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
