I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
