Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
