I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
