I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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