I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize