the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Randomize
