i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
