he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
