I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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