direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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