Non-Jews are for practice
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Randomize
