They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize