This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
