YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He shit in the fireplace
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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