Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize