Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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