But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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