I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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