I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
honey bunches of taint.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
