dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I have tasted many bathrooms
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
