I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
