Who wears a wallet chain?!
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
