I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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