look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
