But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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