I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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