i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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