i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
