Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
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Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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