I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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