So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Pappa wants mamma naked
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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