Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
