Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
