Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
