Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
false alarm. still invincible.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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