left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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