so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I need to sanitize my soul.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
