what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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