some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
