I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
