yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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