All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
