lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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