I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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